It is time to take a little break from bike school discussions. It may not be well known, but just as people that think they know how to ride a bike go to bike school, people that think they know how to motor go to car school. This morning, I made a pilgrimage to bring y'all secret spy shots of a motoring CAR SCHOOL in action. Since it seems that some people on bikes are sure motorists are out to get them, I focused on actions that might support their contention. Specially, I took a look at parking lot drills, and especially dooring practice, debris creation, and what, in less scrupulous hands, might look like a photo of Gumby about to be run down.
Without further ado, here is the story. I elected to write my story about the local Jaguar Club event. They call it a "Concours d'Elegance," but it really serves the multiple purposes of giving them practice opening their doors, arranging debris, and encouraging self loathing (it is an event where you PAY people to tell you how lousy your car is). Some say this fosters road rage, but I haven't ever seen a connection myself. Perhaps it is a motoring version of one of the cycling myths I occasionally talk about.
When the motorists arrive, they are checked out to ensure the cars meet minimal standards. This is called a "mechanical check." In the photo below, you can see a Jaguar XJS being checked out. Its motorist is asked by the mechanical judge to put her cell phone aside and do things like prove her horn and lights work properly. Contrary to what some believe, the motorist is NOT encouraged to yell at the judge to "get off the road," though I have read the rules very carefully and there is not any actual deduction established for yelling at a judge or even for running one over. As when dealing with a real judge, it seems most motorists err on the side of being nice to the judge. You might wonder about the ambulance in the background. It is possible the driver was merely interested in watching the car show. However, my own theory was that it was there in case any of the Jaguars with a V12 engine suddenly burst into flames. None actually did so while I was there, or I'd have included it with these pictures.
|I did Not See Any Motorists Yell at the Pedestrian Judge. Lots of Smiling.|
|Big Cat Keeps Watch on Top of Another Big Cat|
|This Door Opening Strategy Would Catch a Cyclist on EITHER Side.|
|1955 Jaguar XK140|
|Notice How Visible The Spectator in Green is, Even Though She is Not in the Foreground|
|Unlike Toyotas, Jaguars Seem to Hang Around FOREVER. The Ones on This Row, On Average, Would Be Old Enough to Vote if They Were People|
|"Almost Gumby." Smooshed a Little But Unbroken!|
And such is one form of CAR SCHOOL. I have to say, those that tell you all vehicles are the same are NOT telling the truth! Cars really ARE different, and some cars are different than the rest.