- Scotty: Cap'n, there's a Klingon train (freight train) comin' along those tracks next to Katy Road!
- Kirk: Scotty, accelerate to warp factor 8 (20mph) and we can still obey the prime directive (take the primary path)
- Scotty: But Cap'n, a mysterious subspace force (head wind) is interferin' with the warp engines and I canna' make her do any more or she'll blow us to kingdom come; those Klingons are gonna beat us to Keller Hicks.
- Kirk: Spock, execute Failsafe 2. Start computer countdown (scan the distant traffic clots due to the train).
- Spock: Yes Cap'n, but there's a 61.9% probability that those Vulcan Cruisers (cars) that passed us through the Neutral Zone (across double yellow lines) will plug the worm hole (4 way stop) up ahead because even their shields (air bags & other safety equipment) are no match for a Klingon train. Ironic how their "we're big so move aside" evaporates so easily. All of a sudden, "it's not fair."
- Kirk: Get off your high horse, Spock, we've got a ship (bike) to move here.
- Scotty: Cap'n, up ahead, there's a plug in the worm hole, we canna make it to Failsafe 2! We're all gonna...
- Kirk: Calm down, Scotty, we'll use a photon torpedo to blast those Vulcans.
- Scotty: But Cap'n, aren't photon torpedos illegal in Fort Worth? Star Fleet would not allow it! We're on a journey of peaceful exploration.
- Kirk: Sorry, Scotty, I forgot myself. In that case, slow to subspace speed and use the impulse engines on low (turn pedestrian) and we'll slip right past all those Vulcans.
- Scotty: Aye Capn' - they walk across the 4 way stop intersection and are about to re-engage the warp engines when the last train car suddenly goes by.
- Scotty: Cap'n, that Klingon train, it just suddenly VANISHED!
- Kirk: Full stop, full about, resume course for the prime directive (prime path). Spock, inform Starfleet that Failsafe 2 is faulty and the Kobyashi maneuver (turning pedestrian) may be the only way to safely counter a terminal Vulcan worm hole blockage. While you're at it, escort Scotty to sickbay (Starbucks) and have them give him something so he's a little less dramatic (triple filtered ice water, NOT coffee). And let's ditch these Vulcans, I've got a hot date tonight back at Outpost 27 (home).
- Spock: Aye Captain. To be precise, trying to go through on either side with warp engines engaged risks total destruction of the ship and all its crew, which would be real BAD.
To Catch A Thief (And He's Not Cary Grant!) - I have to admit: I take a perverse pride in having foiled a bike theft. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not as proud of having kept a stranger's bike fr...
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