Mixed Feelings

It really caught my eye. The first I saw, it was cited as something along the lines of newlyweds depart in "vintage" car. I thought: "Cool, this is an English tradition I can endorse!" My own E-type is the same age as the one Harry and Meghan departed in. The only thing I really noticed is that it seemed odd for them to be driving a left-hand drive car away from Windsor Castle. As it turns out, theirs is a bit different. They yanked the beautiful, three carb straight six double overhead cam engine and put in a boxy looking electric motor.

I suppose these are the times we live in. Perhaps this is the way the English attempt to change to a more modern way of life. Perhaps someone at Jaguar simply overloaded on Scotch one day. What will come next for this poor car; air conditioning and power steering? Perhaps, just as the French played "God Save the Queen" using the engine of a Renault as recalled here, this is an English attempt to be more humorous than the French.

They took a Milestone Car and Stuck a Washing Machine Motor in it?

You can see more on the electric E-type here. I suppose it is better than them yanking out the engine and sticking a Chevy engine in there...

Plastic Fantastic

FAIL of the Plastic Tire Iron

The first thing I needed to do to the Univega was get the front tire to hold air. Accordingly, I removed the tire and tube. I found out the tire had an oversize tube, so I simply replaced the tube with a new one of the correct size. Along the way, I discovered that my plastic "tire iron" wasn't up to the job. Note to self: carry a plastic tire iron on the road, but keep the steel ones to use at home when a "real fix" is necessary. I guess there's a reason that steel "iron" was used back in the day instead of the plastic they give you nowadays.

Along the same line, our Jaguar car club had its annual show yesterday. One of the cars, a mid 1950's XK 140 emphasized the theme of this post. From a distance, it looks like the car has some gold trim. You can see it below.

Note Gold Color Around the Headlights and Turn Signals

However, if you look closer, you can see a statement is being made.

Some Things Were Done Differently Back in the Day...

Same but different

This ISN'T the Last Working Vehicle...

Over the years, I've noticed that transport vehicles tend to be neglected by myself as long as there are more than one option. In other words, broken cars get left behind until the very last one is at stake. Similarly, so it is with bikes. The difference is that it sure is usually a LOT quicker and easier to get that last injured bike back on the road. Now, it is time to zip off on the NEXT TO LAST bike for some coffee...

Car School Almost Gets Gumby

It is time to take a little break from bike school discussions. It may not be well known, but just as people that think they know how to ride a bike go to bike school, people that think they know how to motor go to car school. This morning, I made a pilgrimage to bring y'all secret spy shots of a motoring CAR SCHOOL in action. Since it seems that some people on bikes are sure motorists are out to get them, I focused on actions that might support their contention. Specially, I took a look at parking lot drills, and especially dooring practice, debris creation, and what, in less scrupulous hands, might look like a photo of Gumby about to be run down.

Without further ado, here is the story. I elected to write my story about the local Jaguar Club event. They call it a "Concours d'Elegance," but it really serves the multiple purposes of giving them practice opening their doors, arranging debris, and encouraging self loathing (it is an event where you PAY people to tell you how lousy your car is). Some say this fosters road rage, but I haven't ever seen a connection myself. Perhaps it is a motoring version of one of the cycling myths I occasionally talk about.

When the motorists arrive, they are checked out to ensure the cars meet minimal standards. This is called a "mechanical check." In the photo below, you can see a Jaguar XJS being checked out. Its motorist is asked by the mechanical judge to put her cell phone aside and do things like prove her horn and lights work properly. Contrary to what some believe, the motorist is NOT encouraged to yell at the judge to "get off the road," though I have read the rules very carefully and there is not any actual deduction established for yelling at a judge or even for running one over. As when dealing with a real judge, it seems most motorists err on the side of being nice to the judge. You might wonder about the ambulance in the background. It is possible the driver was merely interested in watching the car show. However, my own theory was that it was there in case any of the Jaguars with a V12 engine suddenly burst into flames. None actually did so while I was there, or I'd have included it with these pictures.

I did Not See Any Motorists Yell at the Pedestrian Judge. Lots of Smiling.

As you can see, some of the motorists don't have the dooring concept down properly. This Jaguar Mark 9 owner only had his door open on the curb side. Chatting with the owner, he got that Jaguar on the roof at a garage sale for $2. It keeps watch in case any show judges are lurking around nearby. The cone is near the boundary of the street side door zone if he'd wanted to open the door on that side. For those that have never seen one of these cars, they are very much like the Mark 8 car that is featured in the old Hitchcock film; "Vertigo," which starred Jimmy Stewart.

Big Cat Keeps Watch on Top of Another Big Cat

Other motorists elected to try all ways to get those doors out in the breeze. The blue car is a Mark 2. The Mark 2 was a more compact model than the Mark 9. In the UK, they were much favored by getaway drivers.

This Door Opening Strategy Would Catch a Cyclist on EITHER Side.

Some of the motorists adopted an entirely different approach. The owner of this XK140 didn't have any doors open at all. Instead, the debris, cleverly disguised as trunk contents and cleaning supplies, would be SURE to entrap any cyclist venturing too close to the left hand side of the car.

1955 Jaguar XK140

Now, some people on bikes like to ride closer to cars than would be prudent if a door actually opened. Perhaps they imagine all cars have tiny doors like the 1968 Jaguar E type Open Two Seater in the photo below. My own E type is a coupe version of the same car, though mine, being a year earlier has covered headlights, more power, and a tiny ding in the bonnet where a bike crashed into it. THAT will be a story saved for another day. Not that I pay any attention to such things, but I'd say that Jaguar looks an awful lot like it is painted Silver Opalescent Blue.

Notice How Visible The Spectator in Green is, Even Though She is Not in the Foreground

Some motorists decided to team up and have a whole ROW of open doors. Somehow, I think this tactic would not be very effective at snaring even a dumb person on a bike. I also think these guys lowered their chances by parking on the left side of the street. Even in North Texas, the majority of people on bikes ride on the RIGHT side of the road. Perhaps they were trying to remind the cars they originally came from the UK. It didn't occur to me to do an in depth interview on this phenomenon until after I got home.

Unlike Toyotas, Jaguars Seem to Hang Around FOREVER. The Ones on This Row, On Average, Would Be Old Enough to Vote if They Were People

However, completely unexpectedly, I saw a little green man on the pavement. My initial reaction was that, somehow, John Romeo Alpha's Gumby had migrated to Texas. Closer examination revealed that it was nothing more than an action figure that looked somewhat "Gumby like" from a distance. I named it "Almost Gumby."

"Almost Gumby." Smooshed a Little But Unbroken!

Careful perspective and zoom choice created an impression that "Almost Gumby" was about to get creamed by a powerful, late model Jaguar. No doubt, someone trying to sell cycling by scaring people (is that a real good marketing technique?), would claim this car was driven by a raging maniac. In truth, the driver was a very nice lady who was getting coffee before she got down to seriously preparing her car for the judges to tell her how she failed to measure up.

And such is one form of CAR SCHOOL. I have to say, those that tell you all vehicles are the same are NOT telling the truth! Cars really ARE different, and some cars are different than the rest.

Bikes are Like Old English Cars Only Different

There was a period when we drove English Cars, mostly Jaguars, every day. One thing about older Jaguars (and other makes as well) is that they silently communicate to each other, enticing all but one to break down and become non-mobile. You could own four or five and find that only one would run. Alfa Romeos seemed to have the same characteristic.

Old Jaguars are NOT Real Reliable! Ours Occasionally Broke Down

In that way, it seems my bikes have gotten infected as well. First, unaccountably, Frankenbike got a flat tire, just sitting around the house. That was compounded by a reluctance on its owner's part to chop down the retention band on the Minoura Besso light holder. Not real hard to fix, but it requires a decision.

Next, for unknown reasons, the road bike's rear brake cable got sticky. That's an easy item to fix, but the road bike's rear cable will work well for the front canti brake on Buddy, which I haven't installed yet.

Third, Buddy displayed a little attitude (as if bikes could do such a thing) last weekend. The night before the ramble, I tried pumping up its front tire. No joy - psss. I had to put a new tube in (this was the tire that I busted the presta stem on a while back). Everything else seemed fine, including the new rear canti brake once I added a couple of extra washers to compensate for the brake difference.

I tried patching a tube that'd picked up a largish hole previously when it failed due to a rim strip break, but that didn't work. As a result, I put in a new tube. Everything seemed fine. A little sloppy, I didn't feel like cleaning the chain the night before the ramble, so I added lubricant without cleaning. Yes, it's not a good practice but it is better than riding with a dry chain. It's an "ABC Cheat."

SKS Fender Snapped for No Apparent Reason

On the ride, the chickens figuratively came home to roost. First, for reasons not determined, the SKS rear fender snapped on the way out. I'd hoped they would last longer than nine months. Then, the rear tire went flat on the way back. As I removed the tire, Doohickie wryly observed my chain could use a little cleaning. Thanks!

ON THE OTHER HAND, bikes may break, but unlike Jaguars, they're a lot quicker and easier to fix. Heck, for the price of a tuneup, you can even get a whole NEW bike.

Buddy, With Half a Fender and No Air in the Rear Tire

Something New

I don’t have anything against bike shops. I really don’t. I buy tires in them, I buy bike components and parts in them. Heck, I’ve even bought a couple of bikes in them. One thing I have never done at a bike shop is have mechanical work done on one of my bikes, or even a bike belonging to a family member. I have always found it pretty straightforward, and even if I broke something, a replacement could be procured and installed economically. It just didn’t seem to make sense to drive a bike to a bike shop, and then wait for the better part of a week to get it back, when I could ride there, get the parts, and have things done that night. Overhauling a hub or a bottom bracket was much easier than working underneath a Jaguar since it could be done inside after dinner.I apologize to cafiend.
This week, however, I decided to have a bike shop work on my road bike. That’s a first, after over four decades of bike ownership. Somehow these modern indexed shifting systems seem a lot more finicky. Maybe it was seeing how tiny the little springs and stuff in that shifter was. Maybe it's not wanting to mess around with Shimano stuff, compared to the SRAM glory on Buddy. If they didn’t want me going in there, why are there screws? Maybe I’m getting old. I picked it up tonight and it actually seemed to work OK. They stuck their own new chain on instead of the new chain I bought, but I would have done the same. They gave me back the old new chain. I'm sure it'll come in handy some time. The new front small chain ring I stuck on does exactly what I wanted. All the other stuff passed muster. This sucker needs a LONG test ride now...

The Road Bike. AKA "the bike with no name"

Lovely Lost Jaguars - Praktica Update

Inspired by CycleDog provocation, I noticed there was a roll of exposed film I'd taken with my Praktica, described here. When I got it back, from Walgreens, I found the pictures were from nine years ago, from the Seattle Jaguar Club Mercer Island Concours d'elegance. It was the last car show from Felix's last all-out show season. BY THE WAY, when I was in at Walgreens (we drove), I made sure to ask the clerk where their bicycle parking was. When told there was none, I innocently inquired if, in that case, it was OK to walk my bike with me while I shopped next time I came, as long as I was careful. Now I checked, so Buddy has official Walgreens permission.

Elegant in a different way than the prewar Raleigh, shown here, the SS100 Jaguar is officially a classic. When new, it cost less than Buddy. Now it'd be more expensive than most houses to get one. I doubt that you'll see one of these behind you, impatiently honking. They're proud products of an English heritage that's faded with the years, and which the world will not see again. By the way, Jaguar before the war was a model name, NOT the name of the company that built the cars. After the war, the company founder, Sir William Lyons, decided that "SS" was not a good name for marketing purposes, even for an English company.

SS100 Jaguar from the Patrick Hart Estate

After the war, the English dropped back quite a way, and began to produce cars for export in much larger numbers. Still, for many years, they hadn't forgotten elegance. The car below is a late 1950's Mark IX Jaguar, driving down a sidewalk to its assigned spot on the field. The Mark IX was the successor to the Mark VIII, as shown in the classic Hitchcock film, Vertigo. Looking very much like a contemporary Rolls Royce, these cars were quick, quiet, and spacious.

Mark IX Jaguar

Mamavee rides a trike on a daily basis around Massachusetts. This carries on a tradition made famous by products from the Morgan works. Shown below, sitting in the spectator parking lot, is a prewar (in this case, the war is WWII) Morgan trike. These could carry three, just as MamaVee's trike can. Morgans DID make a lot more noise. I think you'll not find one of these behind you, impatiently looking to pass, unless you're a slow vehicle at an historic car race. Even ChipSeal doesn't often ride his bike around Laguna Seca on race day. Probably because none of the track occupants are actually going anywhere.

Morgan, complete with J.A.P engine

They call it "Concours d'elegance." But that's a bit of a misnomer. Take a look at the two pictures below and look carefully at what people are actually doing. Their hands tell the story. Despite all the trappings, these sorts of events are truly more stressful than driving into Dallas during rush hour. At this event, the spectators have the most fun. I think the spectators that had the most fun of all were some cyclists that rode to see the show on their mountain bikes. Their favorite car was one of the newest, a Jaguar XJ220 that I don't include in these photos.

Jerry Purcell, showing his black XK120 for the first time

You can tell real confidence when an entrant is not polishing stuff!

Mike Markey (in the hat), eggs him on

XK140 getting shined up. Compare the bumpers with the XK120 above

The closing shot is my favorite. It is of the Terry McMichael "Devil Car" in its one and only competition against Felix. Terry's XJ6C had undergone a complete ground-up restoration, by Terry, who really knew the finer points of correctness. Everyone told us he was going to kick our butts and my daughters really DID refer to it as "that Devil Car." After all, Felix was merely well preserved, with "baby poo brown paint," and not a no-holds-barred restoration. In 1976, Jaguar build quality was not the best. Everyone was wrong, and Felix retired with another Class win. If you show a Jaguar, make sure your backup lights work...

Terry McMichael, with Bruce MacCormack behind, confident

that "The Devil Car" will soon be taking home a win
- He WAS a good sport about things, however

Hey Terry, I just noticed those windshield wiper arms are wrong!

I think you ought to give Virgil a rebate...

Blame it on ChipSeal

I don't feel like a teenager as often as I used to. My wife has made the case, not totally without basis, that I'm frozen at six years of age. She still gives me trouble over an incident when, many years ago, my Jaguar E-type died due to a wet distributor after I'd made repeated runs through mud puddles to see how big a splash I could make.
.
While at Starbucks this morning, I replied to an email from ChipSeal that Frankenbike had been having fun with the puddles. That got me thinking back on growing up in Seattle. Kids used to make wooden hydroplanes and tow them behind their bikes. Not having wood and string at hand, I figured I could make REAL roostertails on the way home. After all, why have fenders if you don't get your money's worth? I also figured I could test out Big Oak's theory that rain riding washes all the dirt away (if that were true, everyone would have clean cars after it rains). I think it was compounded by a little nostalgia promped by the Durango Texas blog, here. I also contemplated trying a video - hydroplane roostertails are hard to catch in still photos, but the brief camera exposure to the weather quickly convinced me that I'd leave the wet weather videos to Rantwick; an expert on such things.
.
Anyway, it was great fun, though I suggest avoiding the really DEEP puddles unless you want to get your feet sopping wet. As the signs on roads that cross creeks around here say, "Turn around, don't drown."
.
This is a post that could have had a lot of alternate titles. A few include:

• "A Whole 'Nother Perspective on Gutter Riding"
• "Fenders, We Don't Need No Steekin' Fenders"
• "Gratuitous Arrows in These Pictures"
• " Must Scotchguard That Cycling Jacket"
• "Fenders are No Substitute for a Hull and Running Lights"
• "Tell Me Why I Took That Shower at the Gym Again?"
• "Love it When There's No Lightning!"
• "We're Professionals, Don't Try This at Home"
• "Bike Culture?"
• "There are No Distributors on Bikes"

Government Bicycle Lies

I use "tryparkingit.com" to log my commute miles. In a previous post, here, I talked about some of the other choices. Many of those are superior, but I LIKE tryparkingit. It's sort of like a classic Jaguar in that you KNOW it's unreliable and prone to unexpected breakdown, but you love it anyway.

Tryparkingit.com is a creature of "NCTCOG," a quasi-government entity. However, their site does get a little sporty with the truth on occasion, as this post describes.

First off, they pump up the "trips reduced" as shown in Item A. In actuality, as of that date, I'd logged 192 bicycle commutes on their site. I'm not exactly sure how they got the 214, other than the site used to give you credit for any day you didn't go to work - like due to vacation, holiday, or sickness. Now, they only give you extra credit if you skip work due to a "compressed work week," whatever that is.

Next, compare the two mileages in Item B. They don't match! What's more, my actual logged mileage on that date was 6108 miles which doesn't match EITHER of the summary numbers. What happens here is that they give you "extra credit" if you bring your lunch to work. I'm not sure how bringing my lunch to work on my bike makes me greener than eating at the cafeteria, but this IS government thinking at work.

Next, look at Item C and notice the gas savings. In this case, tryparkingit is pessimistic. The only way I'd get 21mpg in the Land Rover would be going down a hill with a stiff tailwind. 14 is more like it, which for the 6108 miles, comes out to more like 436 gallons saved before the "extra credit" stuff, or 584 gallons using government math.

NOW you get into real phony baloney with Item D. Tryparkingit uses AAA costs. Well, these only work if you GET RID of the vehicle since the durn things still cost money just to park in the driveway otherwise due to insurance and depreciation. The Land Rover's pretty much depreciated which reduces my savings, but my insurance costs are high per mile since I don't put that many miles on it. In reality, I figure I've saved about $2000, which just about matches the cost of "Buddy" and the various bike gewgaws I've purchased during that time.

Finally, you get to the last lie, in Item E. It's a similar sort of number to the gas savings. Lucky for me I weigh more than the average number, and ride faster as well. In my case, reality comes out closer to 350000 calories before you add the "extra credit." Good thing I've lost a couple of pounds lately or it'd mean that I'd have to ride to the moon and back to reach my ideal weight instead of merely around the world a couple of times.

There are other oddities on the site that don't show up in the picture. For example, PM Summer at Cycle*Dallas got irritated, here, by the way tryparkingit combined alternative commute modes - combining cycling with blade skating (yes, I know it's really in-line skating). When I complained about it to them, reproduced here, they asked me to be a transportation coordinator (without responding to my actual complaint). They also don't mention that the site is not heavily used. This year, on "Bike to Work Day," I represented 6.5% of logged bicycle commuting for the entire metroplex, all by myself. I'm not sure how they concluded that I rode my bike to work instead of blade skating in, but I figure they made a guess. And, perhaps you can explain to me how riding my bike to work after 10AM would reduce ozone formation by one molecule compared to riding it to work before 10AM.

Still, despite its warts, the site has easy Excel export and THAT lets me make all kinds of cool charts & graphs. And, isn't that one thing engineers live for? That plus I'm optimistic that they'll help me amortize "Buddy" down to that 10 cent per mile target cost a little quicker.

See, Big Oak, there was more to this tryparkingit than you might have thought, when you read the prior "results" post; here. So now get back to work and give us a little more about that luscious Tricross of yours. Wiggly lights are interesting, but more Tricross posts are needed to keep balance and harmony in the universe.

This Camera Stuff Can be Hard

At the risk of stirring up still more controversy on the muckraking dfwptp blog, the following for your consideration:

Shot near Fort Worth Alliance Airport. The thumb in the picture says it all for anyone who thinks I take more than an occasional decent picture. In the words of an M&P engineer I used to know, "Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while - but usually not."

And before some comedian comments, no, this should not be taken as encouragement of cycling blogs taking shots of body parts. In fact, the thumb is not needed as much for cycling as it is for Jaguar driving. If the bike breaks down, I can always walk it somewhere. If the Jaguar breaks down, it's the thumb. It's another way that bikes are different...

Meet "Felix" - Toy Vehicle

Over on CommuteOrlando, the claim was made that you can bicycle commute for under 9¢ per mile. Right now, my new commuter bike, Buddy, is costing around 80¢. Pretty cheap compared to Felix, however. Not counting insurance, it sucks up somewhere close to $2/mile over the last 25 years. Good thing the miles count stays low. Real purty, though...