New Low in Cyclist Fear Mongering

While I was struggling to figure out how to gently tell y'all about a really deep, dark subculture of cycling subculture, I was rescued by an unusually tacky item in Google News today. You can read the full article here, if you want, but the picture below really says it all. Be afraid, be VERY afraid. Is my Texas Tech waterbottle that still works fine even after I ran it over at risk, due to a LOW QUALITY WATER BOTTLE CAGE? Maybe it explains why I have few bike accidents - I never used to bother with water bottles, much less LOW QUALITY WATER BOTTLE CAGES. Play ominous mood music here. Sheesh...

Doing Our Best

Keller, Texas MUP, showing why it's worth riding, this time of year.

North Texas isn't noted for fall color. We just don't have the Maple trees that beautify the New England States and some of the eastern Canadian Provinces. Our Oak trees just sort of turn a mud brown and the leaves fall off, leaving the trees looking dead. Nor do we have the palm trees and long daylight hours that our friends living south of the 31st parallel enjoy. We've got no snow skiing resorts (he sheds a tear, here). We've only got, as far as I know, one custom frame maker in Dallas.

Still, sometimes it's not so bad around here. We're getting more daylight than the frozen northlands and we're getting more fall color and less humidity than Alligatorland. As the guy at the gym said to me, just the other day, "you know, except for the ocean and the beach, it's just like San Diego today!"

Besides, how many of y'all outside Texas know the pledge to the Texas flag? I have to admit, the place grows on you a bit after a while.

More of the trees along the Keller, Texas MUP, in the late afternoon, looking brighter than in real life.

PS: Yes, the bike lanes in Keller are just as nice as those in Bedford, though sadly enough, Keller seems to favor the Bott's Dot approach over the safer dashed line convention favored by Bedford.

Solutions for Commuter Envy

Photo from The State Library of NSW

For those suffering from "Golly, maybe I ought to move further away from work" syndrome to get more bike time, here are some solutions that avoid the time wasting activity of actually packing and moving:

• Arrange to conveniently "forget" something at work or home, adding another round trip
• Find a Starbucks you are particularly fond of, necessitating a major detour to include it on your route to/from work
• Do a "on the way home from work Starbucks tour" to make it to every Starbucks and other coffee shop in your metropolitan area
• Make up rules such as "no riding on streets that start with an even number" or "no riding on streets that are named after people"
• Make a point of making a shopping stop on the way home. Do some price comparison shopping via riding to different locales
• Just go somewhere different every day on the way home from work
• I imagine y'all can come up with others now that the theme has been set...

Trust me, living further from work is not a major cycling advantage, though it does impress the uninformed when, in response to an innocent inquiry, you tell them how far you ride. It doesn't occur to them that you don't have to feel guilty about not going to the gym to work out.

Yeti, UFO, or Vehicular Cyclist (Cyclaris Vehicularis)?

It's been rumored that vehicular cyclists frequent our streets. They're not as widely reported as Bigfoot (Yeti for those that are serious), UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster, and other phenomena. Like such things, documentation is somewhat skimpy. Witness the following exchange yesterday, while I was in Lubbock. You'll notice the impartiality of the interviewer (yours truly), looking only to obtain quality information. The witness's memory is, as may be seen, not perfect. The event in question took place about 5:45PM, CDT, on Thursday.

............... -Steve A


My oldest daughter believes. Making no judgment here. For your consideration. YOU decide...


(Visit here for more on Yeti, including this drawing)




Erin: "I think i saw a 'Cyclaris Vehicularis.' "
Steve: "Was it following a Yeti?"
Erin: "LOL - No, it was going down the center of his lane on Paige Street, and when it was on Squire Lane, it was still in the middle."
Steve: "Did you get a picture?"
Erin: "I tried, but he was going too fast and the street was too busy."

(Note how this starts to follow "the pattern for such phenomena" - watch most shows about UFOs for "the pattern")

Steve: "Where's "Paige" Street? Don't feel bad, they say the same about UFOs."
Erin: LOL - it is in The Colony - a busy three lane road

(further details omitted in the interest of brevity)

Steve: "Was he squished by the cars like a bug?"
Erin: "LOL - No but he did disappear like a bug."

(more omitted - notice the supernatural disappearance aspect)

Erin: "LOL - Well, I saw what I saw."
Steve: "See, that's what they say about aliens, too! We still love you."


Erin: "Sigh - Fine."

I (the poster) note that I attempted to obtain useful details such as photographic evidence, as well as about whether DNA evidence might be obtained from the crash site, all without luck. As indicated, it was much like a Yeti or UFO sighting. This is further amplified by noting that I briefly THOUGHT I was viewing a "vehicularis" in Lubbock yesterday, only to then realize it was a "Wrong-Way Guy" ("Salmon," to use a ChipSeal vernacular term) who happened to be in the middle of the lane, heading straight toward Frankenbike and me.

SATURDAY UPDATE: It turns out that things are not so one-sided if the search term is "salmon" instead of "vehicular cyclist." See the Google Trend below for proof.

Advocacy, Schmadvocacy

The picture to the left might look vaguely familiar.

Cycle*Dallas, here, used its parent on Friday to illustrate the perils of narrow bike lanes, omitting to mention that the line did NOT indicate a bike lane, but was a designated "bike route," of the type Dallas has used for years, albeit with a confusing white line.

On the other hand, Bike Friendly Oak Cliff, notably enthusiastic bike lane fans, yesterday used it here to propose some expensive-looking European scene.

Myself, I'm with Rantwick, and mainly want SMOOTH (or is it "schmouthe" in Canadian?) pavement, as demanded here. However, just this once, in honor of opposite viewpoints all using the same picture, I'll join my compatriots and give MY OWN fantasy take on this exact same scene, thanks to Photoshop.

In MY road, in contrast to the BFOC road, I didn't cut lane capacity in half - and their bricks show they were not reading this post. What's more, my stuff is in ENGLISH!

In MY road, in contrast to the original, I deftly erased the sneaky white line so no one gets confused about paint rules, thus heading off a whole series of Cycle*Dallas posts. I also moved the dashed line over a couple of feet to the right (maybe I ought to have moved it over still another foot, but you get the idea). I know PM likes that idea, though he was so paint-focused he forget to mention it. Happiness is a warm, cozy lane that not even an idiot thinks anybody ought to share. Hey, wasn't that the notion behind people on bikes getting fond of paths & bike lanes way back when? We'll just call this an "extra wide shared bike/car without all the green paint" lane. Or EWSBCWATGP Lane for short.

The motorist, seeing my "you get the general idea" warning sign language (I'm an engineer, not a warning sign writer) got Photoshopped over to the left lane. Most cyclists, seeing the "gutter hazard," move at least a smidge further left than normal, and the rest think "well THAT'S a statement in the obvious." Maybe we can use some of the savings on creative murals, such as discussed here. In this scenario, the guys I worry about are my concrete guys. For them, maybe an advisory sign too far ahead to see - WARNING - TRUCKS MAKE WIDE RIGHT TURNS. Something, anyway - we don't want bikes getting gummed up in the wheels, as described here. My Photoshop skills left me inadequate to deal with the sidewalk. You'll have to imagine potted plants, street vendors, and street musicians over there.

For the ORIGINAL article and its sequel, click here and here. Personally, I think it's worth a read. Y'all need to go out riding more - this obsession with paint fumes is a little suspicious...