It's barely the beginning of October. Already, neighborhoods, ESPECIALLY the "young" neighborhoods along my commute route are filling up with Halloween decorations.
Is this some sort of Satanic conspiracy? Is this perhaps spun from enthusiasm for "Twilight?" Instead of traffic, should I be worried about zombies pouring out of the houses in the predawn darkness to pull me down and suck out my blood?
Crimeny, as if worrying about Yeti and Aliens wasn't enough, now I need to worry about the undead? When did cycling get so deadly?
I always thought those people that wave at me as I ride past while they got their newspaper were being friendly. In my seratonin-induced reverie, it didn't occur to me that they might actually be thinking "That cyclist looks like a plump, tasty morsel. Wonder if he'd mind if I got a little of his blood?"
Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you! I guess bicycles ARE different. I've never heard of vampires carjacking a motorist to suck out his/her blood. You think about it, probably haven't heard of vamipre carjackings either. Such events SURELY would have made the news. Perhaps this is the REAL explanation why we don't see more cyclists on the streets of North Tarrant County...
Just to be sure I wasn't exaggerating, I checked "Google Trends" to see if there was a groundswell of concern about this. Comparing "vampire" to "cyclist" (not even "vehicular cyclist") you'll note from the plot at bottom that I'm not just imagining this stuff. If you look closely, you'll note that "Richardson" and "Orlando" are two of the hotbeds of interest in vampires, and Texas is in the top ten States when it comes to cyclists getting snuffed by vampires. I must say that I'm shocked that the "CommuteOrlando" blog, normally a leader in issues that concern their cyclists, has completely missed this disturbing shadow passing over the land. Be afraid, be VERY afraid. Even ChipSeal may have been offbase in his recent encounter with "police." Perhaps they were really looking for a meal, but it wasn't quite dark yet and they had to cover up. And you'll remember he's been bit by Bella - who drew BLOOD! Reviewing the Google trends, it gives a whole new meaning to "What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas..."
UPDATE: Those of you in Canada may be able to relax - a little. I did a Canadian search for vampires & cyclists. I didn't see any reason anybody in or around Toronto should fear Dracula jumping out at them from under bridges - at least any more than usual...